WISDOM FROM MAXINE

As You Slide Down the Banister of Life Into 2013 -- Remember:

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called ... 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.

3. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant Flash and it is gone.

4. The only time the world beats a path to Your door is if you're in the bathroom.

5. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.

6. It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.

7. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.

8. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can.

9. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment ... for enjoying sex.

10. Something to remember:
As You Slide Down that Banister of Life, Pray That All The Splinters Are Pointed The Other Way . . . . Woah!